Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

k

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops