What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

thumb_up thumb_down +39

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the love boat

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops