Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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