Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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I told you it would happen

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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penis

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops