Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Do you play piano? No

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My children are huge mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is better than a cat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

thumb_up thumb_down +43

a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops