Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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That's what she didn't say

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Gay's

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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