What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

stinky boner

Yo Mama So Fat ... She Look Like Dis ///(*<>*)\\\ | | | | <=> <=>

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

person: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? person: A Hipster. Me: False.

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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