Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what do you call a dead black man? dead

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops