Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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