What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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