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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops