you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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rebecca is a hard worker

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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