What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Know what people hated the most? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

LOL May Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops