What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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Hi

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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