What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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whats up fuch you bitch

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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