I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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