My children are huge mistakes.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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nba live 13

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Heartlight

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Woman Rights

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops