My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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chirs

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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knock knock get lost!

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops