How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops