Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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womens rights.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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donald................duck for president

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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