Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

THIS IS an anti-joke.

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

Your MUM has aids :D LOL

What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

7

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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