Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Im cute hehehee

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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