What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i like turtals and kids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That Awkward moment when your whole family dies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

matty russel are you on here

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops