what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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What do you call a black cop? Officer.

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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