How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Why does batman wear a mask? Because if he didn't every enemy would know who he was, go to his house a brutally murder him.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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