Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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