Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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why does column have a letter n?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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whats 2+2? 4

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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