Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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Knock Knock.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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