Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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men, men like men= men+bed

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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