Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

Why do men find it difficult to look each other in the eyes? The answer actually has deep routes in their psyche, subconsious, and psychological development as children.

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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