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What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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pineapples

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Wade

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

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new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops