- Anti Joke

yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

E= McVagina

Mail | Print | Vote | Daft Punk Superheroes Lyrics Send "Superheroes" Ringtone to your Cell Songwriters: BANGALTER, THOMAS / CHRISTO, GUY MANUEL HOMEM / MANILOW, BARRY / PANZER, MARTIN Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

Ken wins!

What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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