There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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