Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops