What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Johan showering. . . AWK

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops