Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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How did th-A fridge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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penis

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops