What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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I like hats XD!

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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