How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Dani barton= lovely

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Knock knock Come In.......

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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