how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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i dont like attention whores lol

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops