A man walks into town and takes a shit!

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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k

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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