My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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