Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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There's no "i" in tim.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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