A baby seal walks into a club...

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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alert('hiiii');

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Women's rights.

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops