What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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who eats pencils asians

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Sex. That is all.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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you will die someday

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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What flys? A fly

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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