What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Connor "Rusty" McLeod

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +36

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops