what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

What does a man like. food.

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

What did the man with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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