roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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