why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Justin Bieber

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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