whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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