One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

Why so serious ?

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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