don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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A gay man watches football.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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