Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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