A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

You dropped something.... Yo lip

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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