a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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