Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops