How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

Q: knok knok A: Im home

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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