how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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woman's rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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