Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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