A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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