What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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