Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Tunechi

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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