Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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i'm hard

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops