A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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